Who’s the worst now?
Unabashed smoking aside, if you looked at this gif set without knowing anything about these people, you’d think this was a sweet romantic comedy.
And you wouldn’t be wrong.
Gretchen Cutler and Jimmy Shive-Overly are two jerks who meet at a wedding. His ex-girlfriend, who apparently soured him on love and inspired a novel that no one has read, is also her best friend’s sister. The pale, comb-forward sportin’, dead-eyed Jimmy is there for one thing only: to fuck with the bride. He is amped up and venomous, carrying a list of shit to burn her with, taking pictures of his dick with all of the disposable cameras, and dragging along his poor roommate, a traumatized vet with PSTD who isn’t even on the guest list as his plus one. He’s British and talks with a deliberate attack, making a rubber-mouthed meal out of his put downs. Nothing tastes better than his hate.
Gretchen is more sanguine, she’s there for the booze and the food, which she sneaks into her purse. She’s a beautiful, successful music publicist who has no real ties, aside from the bride’s sister, and no apparent morals. She can barely behave like an adult so she assumes that leaves her off the hook, not caring, just coasting, and feeling the growing panic of someone watching everyone they know marry and become boring. Forever.
She decides to ditch the party, absconding with a food processor-sized wedding gift, and bumping into Jimmy outside the reception. She mooches a(n expensive) cigarette. He tells her she’s pretty. She tells him that she’s heard about him. It’s not a food processor. They go to his place and fuck. And talk. And fuck. And talk some more. In between the moments of putting each other down, being bitchy and cynical, having what looks like pretty good sex, and laughing at Top Gun jokes— they start to look real. Like real people who might be going on the fast track to something that they’ve long convinced themselves is repulsive.
Rest assured, Gretchen and Jimmy are awful. Narcissistic little shits who enable each other’s misanthropic worldview BUT they also appreciate one another and that appreciation is so recognizable, it’s painful, because it’s genuine and sweet. Jimmy’s one of those people who can’t stop telling the truth, it’s his party trick, his weapon. He thinks he’s the real deal in a sea of phoniness. Gretchen, on the other hand, can’t stop lying. About all sorts of little things. She doesn’t lie in a way that’s crazy, it’s the lies we tell people every day, greasing the wheels. They understand this about one another. It doesn’t faze them.
He tells her that love is mediocrity, she tells him that his three names are stupid. They’re both lying, they’re both telling the truth. They see something in one another that they recognize as their own and it is awful (but also awesome? shhh).
You’re The Worst is a love story for poisonous people. But guess what? Poisonous people need love too and it’s this message, that keeps spilling over, obvious and stupid and true, that makes this show for me. She’s the worst, he’s the worst, and falling for someone is also the worst. Congrats, assholes. You’re in love.
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
Someone needs to write a fic of a battalion of superheroes randomly showing up at Sam’s doorstep because they have nowhere else to go.
"Hey Sam… so Pepper threw me out of my house and Rhodey’s on vacation in Mexico."
"Steve has spoken much of you Son of Wil. Do you wish to do battle against my adopted brother?"
"So… show an archer these wings I’ve heard so much about."
And Sam cursing Steve and Natasha in the depths of his soul because they started the trend and then told all their friends about it.